The Personal Touch
Companies are falling over themselves these days to provide “excellent customer service” by pretending that each customer is individual and personal to them, but sometimes they just get carried away with themselves.
For example, I was in a shop the other day and saw a sign:
These premises are patrolled by security officers for your protection.
No they’re not. These premises are patrolled by security officers to prevent people taking a slice of our ill-gotten profits.
Another one was the latest updates to my Firefox browser. Upon restarting it said:
Please wait while Firefox installs your updates.
Again, that’s wrong. They aren’t my updates. They are your updates, and that’s because your product didn’t work properly in the first place. There’s nothing about me that requires an update (discuss).