Official: Fortune Cookies Can’t Be Trusted

Pah! So much for the Chinese and their ancient wisdom. Last time we went to the Panda Chinese takeaway I got a fortune cookie which said "Wednesday will be your lucky night". Well O ancient oriental god of dry tasteless snacks: those six numbers didn’t come up last week and I’m still here with a mortgage and CRT telly.

I’m guessing the one I got tonight isn’t going to be true either, although I’m suspecting it’s going to be a little harder to prove it. The vast quantities of salt and MSG present won’t exactly be putting my kidneys in the best of moods, however.

Chinese food will give you good health


For a long time I’ve been convinced my daughter is part owl. The way she can turn her head around almost 180 degrees is quite something to behold as she attempts to watch what’s going on in the entire room all at once.

Now she’s starting to move herself, she’s begun sleeping in a position which I think is reflective of the fact about 10% of her DNA is snail. Somehow she can turn herself from back to front (which is de rigeuer for a baby her age) and then wriggle her knees up to her chest, tucking in the elbows and putting her head on her hands. As I found out today she can do all this with hardly a brushing of the bed sheets.

What you’re left with is a curled-up baby with her bum in the air looking for all like world like a snail in profile. Because she’s lying on her front though, she’s dribbling onto the bedding, which means that as she moves around the cot, there’s a distinct trail of baby drool left wherever she’s been.

As I say, part baby, part owl, part snail.

First Feeding

Lucy has been getting particularly hungry recently and the blissful 11-hours-a-night sleep pattern has once again given way to waking up crying for a bottle at 4am. She’s now reached a point where we can’t keep her fed enough on milk alone, so that’s a pretty good cue to begin the messy process of weaning from milk onto solids.

We went out on Friday and bought a high chair, got home and eagerly began to assemble it. Luckily I’m the sort of dullard who reads the instructions completely before assembly and discovered at an early stage we were two bolts short. It was too late to pop back to the shop, so first thing Saturday morning I went and picked-up a replacement. That went together much better and Lucy’s first lunchtime of solids commenced.

She took the food surprisingly well – the independent little thing wanted to feed herself with the spoon, which I guess is a good thing. She seemed to enjoy it, but pulled some really funny faces. We began with the standard first food of pureed potato. Not too much, and nothing complicated, but it’s a recommended place to start. Obviously there was food everywhere, but when you’re expecting that it’s not really a problem.

All seemed OK, so we did the same for tea that evening. Unfortunately by bedtime she had developed a rash, which by midnight has manifested itself into swelling around the face. After a couple of calls to NHS Direct and the emergency doctor, we decided to stay awake and keep an eye on her for a while. By morning things weren’t any worse, but they weren’t any better either, so we went to the Southampton walk-in centre for some advice.

We saw a very nice GP whose best suggestion at the cause of the problem was what we’d already had a fairly good inclination of: Lucy is allergic to cow’s milk. When pureeing the potato, we added a small amount of milk to smooth things out and this appears to have triggered something. We haven’t had this officially confirmed yet, but it’s a fairly likely culprit.

Lucy, however, has been an absolute angel. She doesn’t seem to have noticed any of the problems or extra fuss over her recently and has been going about her usual business as a baby quite happily. Her demeanour hasn’t changed at all and appears to be oblivious to what’s going on around her.

Y O Y do U DIY?

Wandering through my local DIY store today, I heard a PA announcement advertising their “B&Q handymen”. Basically you buy some materials, decide you can’t finish the job for some reason (I suspect incompetence being the primary one) and then you call in their handymen to do the work for you.

So what’s the point? If you’re going to get a tradesman in, you shop around, get a couple of competitive quotes and let them do all the hard work of sourcing the materials at trade prices. With this “helpful service”, you buy your materials from a Do It Yourself store and then decide to pay someone (presumably at a high rate) to do the job anyway.

So does that count as DIY or not? You’ve probably paid over-the-odds for materials and put the marks throughout the car where you tried to shove those four 8ft lengths of timber through the sunroof. You also probably wasted a couple of weekends before realising you’re actually never going to be a master carpenter. Or even a dab-hand with a flat-pack-furniture allen key for that matter. It will certainly feel like the whole DIY experience.

B&Q handymen: for those people with more money than talent.

I’m Not the Only One

Apparently I’m not the only one with “communications issues”.

I mentioned a while back about being very busy and just not blogging, but I’m not the only guilty party here in my own little web world. The Maple Man (i.e. smaplehost) has also been quite lax in his blogging activity, despite what he claimed via MSN today.

Six entries in a year does not make a blogger – a bit like 36 points does not make a Premiership football team, eh Maples? At least you can take some consolation in the fact that your girlfriend’s team will probably stuff us live on Setanta later today.

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