I’m too Stupid for Anonymous Cards

Valentine’s Day – a time when lovers everywhere buy expensive novelty tat / flowers for their chosen one. Apart from Christmas, I’m guessing it’s the time when card shops make the most money.

I remember at school it was also a chance to send anonymous cards to the girl that you fancied, although I never worked out why the girls didn’t send them (or was that just me?). Nowadays, however, I’m just too stupid and disorganised to send an anonymous card.

Take this year for example. My wife and I agreed that buying presents for a Hallmark day was a waste of time, but a card would be required. So naturally, I left my card-shopping until Thursday evening; with the writing part left until 10pm on Friday night.

It’s a good job that I hadn’t planned on trying to cast an air of excitement with an unsigned card through the mail for anyone this year though. After writing the card out, it (very) slowly dawned on me that I hadn’t managed to pick up an envelope for the card. In the end, I just stuck it on the sideboard for Katrina to discover in the morning.

Normally the nice people at the till would keep you right, but this was done through Sainsbury’s fast-track system, which means the cashier never needs to see what’s in your trolley: it has been packed into bags before you even get there.

So there we go – too stupid to pick up an envelope.