Unnecessary Superfluous Adjectives

Marketing material is littered with adjectives where normal people wouldn’t bother; all in the name of making something sound better than it actually is. A great example is the Domino’s Pizza flyer which dropped through our door this morning.

The front cover was advertising their “American Hot” special: a (probably great) combination of Jalapeno peppers, pepperoni, onion, and mozzarella. But of course it isn’t described as such. Instead the ingredients are listed as following:

  • Spicy Jalapenos – isn’t the point of Jalapeno’s the fact that they’re spicy?
  • Juicy pepperoni – no matter what planet you’re from, pepperoni isn’t juicy: a spicy disc of 50% fat with loads of salt will never be “juicy”
  • Onions – the only ingredient without an adjective: I guess it’s better saying nothing than describing it as “volume-adding onions” though
  • Mouthwatering mozzarella – this is the biggest lie of them all. Mozzarella is pretty much bottom of the pecking order when it comes to cheese quality. It works as a pizza topping, but I would never describe it as “mouthwatering” (have you ever tried a basic cheese and tomato pizza?)