1st Class Way to Travel

I once used Parcel2Go.com to quote for how much it would cost to send something after selling it on eBay. F***ing fortune was the answer, but that’s irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that I gave them my e-mail address and I’m now getting spammed by them twice a week.

I was about to remove my e-mail address from their database, when yet another mailshot from them caught my eye. Bearing in mind this is a firm which finds the cheapest way to send things via courier, this is their subject line:

Parcel2Go.com Exclusive Offer – Take the whole family to Wembley for £30

Yeah – so long as you don’t mind being crammed into a small rickety box, being jostled around in transit, and passed from pillar to post by idiots who can’t read the “this way up” stickers. Actually, putting it like that, I think they must have done some contracting work for South West Trains…

How do I apply?

Never Play on the Train Lines

There was a story on the local BBC news the other day about a woman who had fallen over whilst crossing a railway line on a gated level crossing. To make matters worse, she managed to fall when there was a train coming.

Now before you think I’m having a go at some poor woman who’s thankful to be alive after losing two limbs in some horrific accident on a train line, I’m not. The level crossing was manned, so a real person needs to look out of the window at the track and only then let the train know it’s safe to proceed. Even the reporting journalist who would have loved a sensationalist story admitted she was in no danger whatsoever.

So let’s see what we have so far: an old woman falling over on a train track, but in reality she was in no danger whatsoever. Normally that wouldn’t even make the Hedge End Informer, but for some reason it had popped up on the 6:30pm BBC South Today news. So what gives?

Well the whole thing seems to have been her reaction to it. She was described as not wanting to use that crossing again because she was “too traumatised”. She was even “considering suing Network Rail for the cost of replacing her glasses which she broken in the fall”.

For God’s sake woman get over it! You’ve fallen over: it’s not anyone else’s fault.

It gets better though – there was the mandatory “on location” report by the poor bloke sent to cover this case. Why do you think I’m being so harsh on this woman? It’s because arching nicely over the head of the reporter in the background of the report is none other than a footbridge.

A woman (who I’ve avoided describing as elderly, because I don’t think she was that far over 60) refuses to use the supplied footbridge, falls over on the train line and all the safety procedures work fine.

I’ve no idea what the outcome of the story was (I couldn’t find it on a web page anywhere), but I hope that Network Rail told her to get lost. I’m sure £75 for new specs would hardly be missed by NR shareholders, but it’s the principle. Replacement glasses indeed.